May 2006
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May 19th, 2006
Thou Shall Not Think
The following video contains one of the best quotes that I've heard in a long time. It was said by Sir Ian McKellen,
a fine actor and knight who happens to be one of the stars of the film adaptation of "The Da Vinci Code."
For those of you who have been living in a cave for the past few years, The Da Vinci Code is a controversial
best-selling book written by a man named Dan Brown. The book is campy pulpy grail-lore about a Catholic
affiliated secret society and its efforts to suppress the truth about Jesus' wife and kids. I don't really
understand why it is so controversial to assume that Jesus had children. Do people really think that it
would have been acceptable for a Jewish man to be a bachelor in the 1st century? ("Be fruitful and multiply
and replenish the earth" - Genesis 1:28)
The bible is a book of moral messages expressed through myth and metaphor, through parable and allegory.
One of its first teachings has been shouted loudly by churches in the wake of the Da Vinci controversy.
First though, I'll paraphrase the creation myth.
God made the oceans and the forests and the animals. He made Adam and Adam was lonely so God made him a
friend. God tore out a piece of Adam (his rib) and moulded it until he had made Eve. He left Adam and Eve
together in the Garden of Eden, a great paradise that knew no pain or trouble. God said that they could
live there forever, but that eating apples from the tree of knowledge was forbidden. A snake talked Eve
into talking Adam into eating an apple. God was pissed so he threw them out.
The message is: Thou Shall Not Think. God told Adam that it was forbidden to eat the apple of knowledge.
With one bite of that red delicious, Adam and Eve became self-aware. They committed the sins of independent
thought and action. This angered God so much that he banished them and all of their descendents (that's you
and me) from the paradise. He gave them (and all of us) the gifts of pain and suffering. He still holds a
grudge to this day. We humans continue to be punished for our ancestor's "Original Sin."
The lesson has stuck. If you want to be a good Christian you'd better not think critically. Don't think and
don't ask hard questions, that might make God angry. Given his record of genocide with the pre-deluvians
and then again with Egypt's first-born, God has shown himself to have quite the temper. Given his irrational
torment of Job and his willingness to let his own son die in agony, its safe to say that God is a bit of a
sadist. Best not to piss him off.
The Da Vinci Code is controversial because it encourages people to think critically about their deeply
held beliefs. This book/movie raises some legitimate questions. These questions could cause people
to doubt the official church line. This must be terrifying for Christian leaders. It is only by discouraging
critical thought and deflecting difficult questions that churches have been able to retain their membership
through the centuries. Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell. If people started really looking at things like
virgin births, water walking, alcohol making, and other biblical myths, they might wonder how much of their
world-view is worth re-examining. How scary for the leaders of the flock. I raise my glass to Sir Ian McKellen
for challenging a national TV audience to reconsider a thing or two.
WMV File - 1.8M
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The Empire is Crumbling
Though the opening of the Iranian Oil Bourse (IOB) and the series of events that are sure to follow will perhaps
be the most significant events of our times, news of the IOB has been hard to find. On the internet and in the media,
talk of Iran's plans to open a new oil market had existed only in whispers. I learned about the IOB from unnamed
sources, from the journal of a Bulgarian Economist, from a speech given by an obscure Texas Congressman,
and from websites usually devoted to conspiracy theories. A big shout-out to Information Clearing House
for getting this story right from the beginning.
Try as I might, I could not find official sources confirming the existence of plans to launch the IOB...until now.
On May 5th, Iranian State Television announced that the IOB had been granted a license to operate. This was
confirmed by several news organizations in Persian Gulf nations (Qatar, Bahrain, UAE) and later by
the Associated Press in an article titled "Analysts Skeptical About Iran Oil Plan." This is for real.
The opening of the IOB marks a real paradigm shift. The "American Way" of life is over. The launch of the
IOB gives the United States a choice between two disasters. It is time for America to pick its poison;
Iran has the USA over a barrel, pun intended. In the coming months, the United States can either start
World War Three, or helplessly watch as its economy collapses. In light of all the sabre-rattling about
the phantom Iranian nuclear weapons program, the smart money is on the former.
Currently there are only two markets where oil can be purchased, the New York Mercantile Exchange (NYMEX)
and the Intercontinental Exchange (ICE) in London. On these markets, oil can only be traded for US Dollars. The
result of this policy has been that the nations of the world, friend and foe alike, have had no choice but to buy
and hold a reserve of US Dollars. (Petro-Dollars) This "Dollar Hegemony" has kept the American economy afloat
since the 1970's. Now with the IOB, Tehran wants to change the status quo, and by doing so, shift the world's
economic order. The Iranian Oil Bourse will trade oil for Euros instead of US Dollars. Why is that significant?
Ask Saddam Hussein, he tried to get Euros for Iraqi oil just before...well...you know what happened.
US debt is spiralling out of control. America owes about nine trillion dollars. (that's trillion with a T) Nearly half
of US debt is owned by foreigners. Nearly two thirds of foreign owned debt is held by the Central Banks of
foreign nations. All of this debt makes the US Dollar unstable, and therefore, unreliable. This makes a potential
"Petro-Euro" look very attractive. Will it become a reality? Naturally, the nations of Europe would want to buy oil
with their own currency. Also, oil exporters in the Middle-East, (the "Marg Bar Amrika" crowd in particular) would
want to use something other than US currency to sell its oil. Then there is Asia. Japan holds $1.2 trillion of US debt,
China holds $325 billion. (Who do you think is paying for George Bush's tax cuts for the super rich?) It makes
sense for these countries to diversify their holdings. What if they wanted their money back?
With a need to import oil, and a need for US Dollars to buy it, the world had a reason to prop up the US economy.
If the Iranian Oil Bourse opens, this may no longer be the case. With the ability to import oil using a stable
Euro rather than a shaky Dollar, China, Japan, and a host of other nations could dump their Dollar reserves. This
would send the Dollar into a tailspin, the result of which would be devastating to the US economy. Think 1929,
only worse. It is certain that America would go to war to prevent this from happening. The thing is, they can't
really afford to do that either. Here again is the likely outcome of a war between the US and Iran.
America will choose war over economic ruin. It should be noted that empires tend to fall when they fight one war
too many. Read your history. The IOB is for real, which means that things are about to change. Iranian President
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is not simply a raving madman; his anti-American/anti-Semitic posturing comes from a
position of strength. The American Empire is crumbling and he knows it. Death does not deter the radical Islamist.
The big war is coming. Pray that you won't be there when the bombs go off. Khoda Hafez. Peace.
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May 5th, 2006
Stephen Colbert Attacks
This is sweet. Last weekend, Stephen Colbert appeared at the annual White House Correspondents Dinner.
The star of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report gave us one of the best examples of political satire that I have
ever seen. Colbert's shtick is to sharply criticize the Bush Administration by posing as a right-wing pundit,
a patriotic "Megamerican" who admires the President. Colbert praises Bush's policies and slanders his opponents.
Like other right-wing hacks, his on-screen persona would be a good fit for Foxnews.
Colbert's speech was a scathing critique of the Bush Administration. It was clever and coherent and funny.
It painted Bush as the criminal that he is. Best of all, Colbert was standing just metres away from Bush as he spoke.
This brought him close enough to actually get inside of the bubble that normally insulates the President
from all criticism and disagreement. Bush had to listen to Colbert. There was no filter. For perhaps the first time
in his life, Bush was openly mocked, right in front of his face. It was fun to see that he was not amused.
Well done Stephen. Thanks for standing up.
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May 1st, 2006
Bravo Turkey
This post is a quick thank you note to the Turkish government. In an interview with Al Biyan, (a prominent
newspaper in the United Arab Emirates) Turkish Foreign Minister Abdullah Gul said that Turkey has refused to allow
the Americans to use Turkish soil as a staging ground for an attack on Iran. The Americans offered quite the trade,
they said they would help Turkey build a nuclear reactor in exchange for the use of Incirlik Air Force base.
It is quite ironic really, the US would give a nuclear program to one nation in order to destroy the nuclear program
of another. In a trying time such as this, it is good to know that nations in the region will not be bribed into
facilitating the start of World War Three. Tessekur Edirim Turkiye.
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